Life has a way of giving us what we need when we need it most. It isn’t always what we want, but rest assured the Universe is always grooming us for our next phase.

How do we hold on when hope seems to elude us? This is the question that has been waving a white flag in my head. Begging to be realized, a full surrender into what we cannot control.

Every new level of our life will demand a new us. A revised version, often rising from the ashes of mishaps, mistakes, unmet expectations, and life demands. We don’t always get to choose when the next phase of our life will come. It often chooses us.

Divorce, disease, death, unexpected layoffs, financial distress can fly in unexpectedly and force us to change course. These circumstances outside of ourselves will always produce uneasy feelings; we can barely hold on as the seasons of life change in front of our eyes.

I’ve been feeling the pain of unexpected circumstances as I grieve the loss of my best friend, my dog, Tucker the golden retriever.

In the weeks leading up to his passing, I felt this enormous pain in my heart. I tried to grapple with the notion of living life without him: Who am I without my right-hand man? How can I exist in the physical world without him?

We all do this—it might not be with your relationship to your pet, but we often, unknowingly, tie ourselves to our relationships, experiences, and jobs as if they are who we are. We find comfort in our identities; the layers we live often help us feel more like ourselves.

We identify ourselves with labels—we say things like, I am a writer, and a banker, a lawyer, a mom, a daughter, divorced, husband, father, gay, bi, straight, disabled, impaired, broken—and we define ourselves by the color of our skin, our environment, or our political affiliation. But none of this is really us, because all of this will morph and change. We put these labels on ourselves but most are limiting us.

We are all so much more than how we look or what we do or our behavior or beliefs.

The labels we address are simply masks we use, like costumes we layer ourselves in to help us feel more of what we want most: a sense of belonging, a sense of acceptance, a connection to love.

When you strip down all of the layers and labels, these false identities we’ve used to fit ourselves into pockets of society, we can realize we are all so much more alike than we realize. We are all the same in that we all want to give love, be loved, and be accepted.

The fact that we feel like we are not whole or complete without these masks is an illusion that separates us from our true source, the source of love within.

The gift life promises us is change, so it serves us to not become too attached to any one situation or allow ourselves to fall victim to the labels society will try to tie to us, but rather light the way with your own light, be your own compass.

You are so much more than your labels. Your worth is not tied to what you do or how you look. And when something you love goes away or moves on, or situations happen that are out of your control, rest assured this is your soul begging you to grow.

When we let go of what was, we are being asked to dig deeper and remind ourselves that our worth has nothing to do with anything outside of ourselves. It is all on the inside.

When we hold on to what is ready to be released—the relationship, the job, the title, the belief, the habit—we force ourselves to stay small.

Meanwhile, life is inviting us to grow, accept the call, and spread your wings with this expansion. Don’t miss the point and purpose of your life. It is not to attach yourself to any one thing or define yourself by your circumstances, but to be in the dance of life because you are limitless.

Allow yourself to do the dance. Bask in the beauty of your light as you shine forward. The dance is the only constant we can count on. Everything will come and it will go; the only real danger is holding on to what is ready to be released out of fear the dance will die. But this is not how the Universe works. The dance is life itself, so the opportunity for you is to gracefully step forward into the next phase of your life.

The Universe has a way of delivering change, like a rotating conveyer belt. It is the one thing we can count on. I’ve learned that nothing is ever truly lost when it exists in your heart. This is the deal that life offers us, an opportunity to commit to the light as we rendezvous with all that is.

Step onto the dance floor, because everything that is happening is not happening to you, it is all happening for you.

 “Life is the dancer and you are the dance.” ~Eckhardt Tolle

If you want help releasing attachments, grab this free mediation from the author.

Shannon Kaiser has been named “Top 100 Women to Watch in Wellness” by the Mind Body Green, and “a thought leader on the rise” by Café Truth. She appears regularly as a happiness expert on AM Northwest and Huff Post Live.

Shannon is the best-selling author of Adventures for Your Soul, and Find Your Happy, Find Your Happy Daily Mantras and the new book The Self Love Experiment.

Shannon's the founder of Playwiththeworld.com, named “Top 75 Personal Development Websites,” and “Top 100 Self Help Blogs” by the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.

She's an author, international entrepreneur/life coach, travel writer, teacher, and inspirational speaker who left her job in advertising several years ago to follow her heart and become a writer.

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